How to Get Your Ex to Forgive You

July 17, 2021

Find the best way to get your ex to forgive you for lying or cheating and take you back as your girlfriend or boyfriend. These tips will help you get a second chance from your ex.

Get Your Ex to Forgive You

Getting your ex to forgive you is not an easy task, especially if you have hurt them real bad or betrayed their trust. However, if you want your ex to forgive and accept you back in their life, then you need to show them that you are genuinely apologetic. It would help if you made it clear that this won’t ever happen again. Even after that, the task is not over, not even remotely, because your ex may need some time to think about it and to accept you back truly.

So you have to be patient with them and show them with words and with action how you have changed. Only after that will they be able to accept you back in their life, at least in some capacity. Then you may work on your relationship, whatever it is, to get their respect back and maybe even gradually to win their heart. So if you genuinely want to get your ex to forgive you, then here is one of the ways you can try to get it.

Accept your mistakes

First and foremost, you need to accept your mistakes. Just admit that you made a mistake, register, and then move on. The truth is, for them to see that you are apologetic, you should at least accept that you made a mistake as then only you would be able to display it. And because you have broken their trust in some form, they won’t simply accept a lame-ass apology. So it needs to be genuine, and for that, you need to carry your mistakes and take responsibility for them genuinely.

Be Objective

Please don’t be stubborn; instead, look at it from their perspective. Think why this person is hurt so much? The reason is they loved you so much and in no way expected you to do what you did. Once you get the idea of how they feel, you will automatically start empathizing with them. So try looking at this mistake from their perspective, and you will understand them a lot more.

Make a Plan

You can’t just go to them ask their forgiveness. It doesn’t work that way, and it’s too risky because you can cause more damage than before. So if you want your ex to forgive you or at least consider forgiving you, then you need to make a plan. This way, you will know exactly what to do and how to do it. So to make a proper plan, here are some questions you will need to answer.

What to Say?

You know what you want to say basically that you are sorry and you will never do it again. But quite frankly, you don’t know the words that you want to say. That’s what this question is for. So sit down and jot some of the things that you would like to speak to them. Keep in mind that this can be your very last conversation with them if they don’t accept your apology. Remember not to blame them or anyone else for your mistakes. Take full responsibility for them and remember actually to say the words “I am sorry.” You will be surprised at how much you won't tell them.

When to Say?

This is important as well. You can say you are sorry and leave, but they need to process what you just said, so think about them before choosing a place and time. Remember not to do it in a crowded area; instead, try doing it in a semi-public place where you two can talk and listen to each other appropriately. Another thing is to try and give them some space before you start piling up all these emotions on them. I mean, they haven’t yet got out of the emotional hell that you put them through, and now here you are again, asking for their forgiveness. So at least give them a day to think about it and at most a week because you don’t want them to feel like you don’t care.

How to Say?

You need to understand that you are the guilty party here and not them. So don’t start acting like a jerk when they dismiss something you say. Instead, be gentle and patient because you have just put this person through a lot of pain. Remember to show some gratitude as even now they agreed to see you. Keep your sentences short and direct, and don’t cut them off when your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend speaks. Just be patient with them.

After Effect of Asking Forgiveness

After you have asked for forgiveness from your ex, there will be some reactions, and here is how you need to handle them.

Show Regret

Aye, you have indeed asked for forgiveness, but if you are laughing when doing that, then it just makes the matter worst, now doesn’t it? It would help if you showed some regret and, even more so, feel it for all the pain you have caused this person; moreover, why bother apologizing if you don’t feel that regret. I mean, if you don’t think you did anything wrong, then why are you even apologizing. So if you are genuinely sorry, then I don’t think showing regret would be difficult for you.

Listen Carefully

You are not the only one who’s going to talk during this entire conversation. So when they do talk, please do not interrupt them; instead, try listening to them. This way, you will end up learning something about how they feel right now, and it might even give you some clue on how to show them that you are genuinely sorry.

Be Patient

Patience is the key to this whole process. If you are not a patient person, getting them to forgive you will be pretty tricky. Another instance when you may have to be patient is when they start talking and use harsh words towards you. It would help if you kept in mind that they are feeling hurt, and you are the cause of that feeling. They don’t mean what they are saying, but they can’t help themselves in this situation. So you need to help them by being patient and not getting angry in return.

Learn From Your Mistakes

The person who keeps repeating the same mistakes again and again, all the while expecting different results, is the definition of an insane person; at least, that’s what Albert Einstein said. So if you are not willing to learn from your mistakes, then you, my friend, are a definition of an insane person. In other words, you need to learn from your mistake as it might help you in the future, and it will also show when you are apologizing.

Change yourself

Since you have accepted that you made a mistake and are willing to learn from it, you wouldn’t be shocked if I said that you need to make some changes in life. But, no, I am just saying that for your ex even to consider forgiving you, they would, at the very least, require some changes. So here are two steps of change that you need to go through to get considered a changed person.

Promise of Change

First is the promise of change. As you may have heard that “Everything starts with a dream” similarly, you will need a deposit of change before you can change. Keep in mind that you are not making this promise to anybody else, but in fact, you promise yourself that you will change. In all honesty, I don’t know if you can lie to yourself, but if you have that talent, then you need to write these promises down. This will serve as a reminder, so you don’t break those promises you made yourself to change and become a better person.

Actual Change

You may also have heard another phrase commonly accompanied by the word I used before. It goes something like, “If you find it, it will happen.” Now that you have made yourself a promise of change, you are one step closer to changing. If you try hard enough for a while, it will start getting easier with time. That’s the beauty of it; if you could take one step forward in a positive direction, the world would come rushing to help you. Your ex may not come yet, but the world will, and soon your ex will hear about how much you have changed. This will intrigue them to agree to meet with you again to talk, maybe. If it does not work out and your ex wants to move on and even starts dating again, read our guide on how to deal with the feeling of your ex dating someone else.

Getting forgiveness from others is easy but requires a lot of patience. However, genuinely forgiving yourself is difficult, especially when you agree that you have made a big mistake. The truth is that some people can never forgive themselves, so they seek others to ignore them. But the fact is if you can forgive yourself and can live with mistakes you have made, then it would be easier to change and perhaps even get your ex to forgive you. So lastly, I would ask you to have patience as it’s the only thing that can get you through this.

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