Find the best way to let go someone you love so much and feel less pain. These tips will help you move on from a sad relationship to happiness in life.
Loving someone is a beautiful thing, never forget that. But there are times when you have to let go of someone maybe because they passed away or because it’s time to move on. As much as we enjoy falling in love with someone it’s equally devastating when we have to let go of that loved one. No matter the reason of letting go there are always going to be some unanswered questions, the need for closure which can never be met and then there will be time to move on.
But before that you will need to grieve the loss of your love and try to feel the hole in your heart where that someone used to be. After the grieving process there will come a time when you will be okay with your life but still afraid to move on and that is called comfort zone. Then someone will come in your life familiar or unfamiliar and force you to take the first step and without knowing you will have started letting go and moving on. A brief explanation of what you might go through and how you could try to get through it is available here. The three stages involved when you are trying to let go someone you love are below along with the steps and tips which might help you in this difficult situation.
If you have just lost someone you loved no matter the reason you will go through the grieving process. It’s not going to be easy to go through. It will be confusing, terrifying and really painful. But the good thing is that you will get through it and if lucky without doing anything destructive. This process contains fives stages which is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. You may go through some or all of these stages in linear or in some other ways. Hence here is a brief introduction on how to deal with each one of these stages.
This stage is where you deny the reality of the situation. It’s too painful for you to accept what happened even when you are the one who broke up, than too it will hit you at the most vulnerable moment. It’s natural response of humans when faced with overwhelming situation in this case grief. It’s nothing to be afraid of everyone goes through it and everyone get out fine and so will you. Whenever you feel down or find yourself denying just get yourself up and listen to yourself saying “I will get through it” and so you may.
This happens when denial starts to where off and no matter how prepared you are you think, it will hit you like a damn hurricane and put you down. You will get angry at the most unfortunate occasions like when someone is sharing their break up story. You may also get angry watching other people happy even though you know that it isn’t their fault. There will be times when you will displace this anger onto your friends and or family members. But you need to know that it’s all normal and it’s not your fault either. To get out of it, all you need to know is that it will pass and you must keep your friends and family close by for when it does.
This here is the bargaining stage and so starts the bargaining with yourself and about yourself. You will go through every possible scenario in your mind over and over again to get the answer that you already know which is over. You might even consider the possibility of what you could have done differently and will wrack your brains on what could’ve happen if you would have done this or that. But the truth of the matter is that it happened and there’s nothing you can do about it now. All you can do is move on and let go someone you love. It isn’t going to be easy but it’s something that you have to go through in order get to the other side.
Once you have understood that you can’t change anything even though you have tried, then there will be sudden silence in your mind and then the depression hits you. This is the feeling when you feel the most vulnerable and you don’t even feel like getting out of bed. So just take some time off and allow yourself to grieve properly, but always remember that when you’re ready there are people who would love to have your company. Don’t do anything drastic during this phase which you might regret later. It’s always best to talk to someone close when you feel depressed because talking about it out loud always helps. And no matter what, you must let it all out.
And finally when everything has settled you reach the stage of acceptance. This is when you realize that you don’t have power over everything and what’s done is done and now it’s time to move on. Hence you accept your past even though you are not happy with it, but you allow yourself a chance to have a better future. It’s difficult to let go someone you love and accept the truth which some people never do, but the sooner you accept it the sooner you can be happy.
When you have accepted the truth then you will have unknowingly built a wall around your heart so you don’t ever have to get hurt like that ever again. And the space within that wall is what I call comfort zone. You will start living again but not as much as you can. You will start going out but always in a safe environment and with people you know. You will send all the signals saying that you are not interested and the people should just leave you alone. Some will still cross your boundaries but you may feel the urge to set them to their place and so you would. So to help you take that leap of faith and get out of your comfort zone here are some tips.
Address your feelings:
First of all you need to address your feelings. Even though you got hurt not all of it was bad and you did have some good times. So some of your feelings are there simply because you don’t want to go through that loss ever again and when you talk about it out loud you’ll realize how you sound and that may help you get ready to step out of your comfort zone. Friends are pretty good at forcing you to get out of your comfort zone too. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn’t but it’s always good to have friends who are willing to go there when needed. Any time you get angry over a friend or a family member for pushing you than at that time it’s essential that you address these feelings and apologize to the concerned party. Just because you have accepted the fact doesn’t mean that the stages of grief will stop hitting you at your most vulnerable time but now you are better equipped to deal with them.
When you first start to get comfortable with your life now, it’s alright to go to some familiar restaurant or a club. In fact in the beginning when you feel vulnerable to anything it’s better to go out to familiar places with friends to see how you feel and then slowly you can snap out of it. But it’s also essential that you get out of your comfort zone and get out there every once in a while. Taking baby steps is understandable but taking no steps is not.
Now since you have accepted the fact and started moving forward with your life you will find that the person in question slowly starts fading away from your memory. You will never completely forget this person but gradually you will learn to live without them and finally be happy. Letting go does not mean forgetting them entirely but to live happily even though that person is not on your life now.
You have already made the first move when you started reading this article as now you know that you want to let go someone you love. And since you have read so far then I know that all of this things mentioned above has happened to you at least once. Otherwise no one really likes to learn from internet about how to let go of someone they love. And hence I just want to tell you that it’s okay to move on and take the first step towards a new and happy life. So try to look pretty even though you want to cry and try to laugh in your friends company even when you feel sad. The first move is to get in touch with your friends and if you do that successfully the rest will happen because your friends and family always take care of you. But if you don’t have either or you think they are not up for the task then social hangout works the best.
The best way to have fun is to meet new people and rekindle with old friends and family. Social hangout is all about how you can make the most of your friendship in times such as these. You can go clubbing with your friends and have fun. You don’t necessarily have to socialize if you don’t want, you can just dance to the music and have fun. Go to your favorite restaurant and just have starters and then go to another restaurant for appetizers and then have a gulp and go desert. Just try to have as much fun as you can while you can. Doing this you will meet some exciting new people and you may even go out with friends and socialize. That’s all the social hangout is about and you need to get out there as you have been socially absent during the period of your relationship and this will help you get back out there.
If you have done all the things properly then you are going to get this chance. No matter how much walls you build up around you there will come this one person who knows exactly how to peel down those walls and take care of you. You may even try to shut them down but if this person likes you then they won’t take no for an answer and you will start asking yourself the question like “Am I being too harsh?” and if you don’t then your friends will let you know probably. This is the time when you have to take the leap of faith and get back in the game. Slowly when you are ready you will lower your defenses and let them in. So to let go someone you love, it’s essential to rekindle your faith as you do deserve to be happy and be with somebody who is good to you and so you will.
Letting go of someone you love is not an easy thing to do but sometimes it’s a necessary thing. Never stay in a relationship if it hurts more than it heals. A good relationship is in which you are happy for your significant other even when you lose. You learn to be happy in their happiness and they do the same for you. A relationship in which two people are thinking of each other before they think about themselves is the type of relationship you want to be in.
Sure, every relationship has its ups and downs but when you are doing everything yourself and there is no appreciation for it then it’s time for a confrontation or worse. Sometimes you don’t have a choice, but to let go of someone you love because being with them just makes you sad or worse and you deserve to be happy. Remember the process of letting go is going to be tough but it is still be better than a toxic relationship because there is a promise of happiness in the end unlike your current relationship.