How to Overcome Fear of Rejection in Love

August 6, 2016

Find the best way to overcome fear of rejection in love or relationship. These tips will make you confident and heal inside fear while talking to your crush.

overcome fear of rejection

The most self-confident people realize that rejection is simply part of life and that in order to develop as people, we must all take risks at some point and get out of our comfort zone. But above all, never take rejection personally and see it rather as an error of others to realize how they really are. In the end, if we lose all fear of rejection it would be very helpful because we would no longer experience those nerves and finally you would e able to overcome fear of rejection.

Realize what is happening

Look inside yourself and reflect on the belief about how the possible rejection would influence your behaviour and that your actions. If you're thinking that you will be rejected then try to gather points that why you were rejected. You can start to change your actions until you actually see what is going on. Look for signs not only of what goes wrong, but also what is working.

If they reject you, it is normal to feel hurt. There is no one who does not feel discomfort at the time he/she get rejected. But the key is that then, instead of letting emotions dominate your behaviour, ask yourself the following questions: What did I do wrong? Why he/she disliked me? What should I do to improve? All these questions will help you to overcome fear of rejection and be confident I your dating me.

When did the fear of rejection started

Surely in your school days you ended with the fear of being rejected. Close your eyes and think of everything you've learned. Keep your mind calm, telling yourself that all is well. Although it may seem strange, it has a big impact on how you felt as a child and helps pass those moments. Going to the root of this problem will help you to completely get rid of fear of rejection.

Avoid self-fulfilling prophecy

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a mistaken belief about a situation that makes the person who has to act so that compliance is completed, as shown in this study. If you think a group of people will reject you then probably you will get nervous and defensive. This behavior is the precise cause they reject you, so then you justify your belief: I knew you was not going to like it! So be careful what you think and avoid constantly looking for signs of rejection. Begin to look for signs that boost your confidence.

Close your eyes and use your imagination to feel and act differently in situations where you normally feel unsafe. Hypnosis can work directly with the way how you feel when you experience certain situations and try to change the thought processes of someone when your emotions are altered.

Do not assume

People who never learn to question their assumptions make their life difficult. Do not be so sure what will happen or what you know. So you can relax and take into account the possibility that there may be bad or good results, but you should not always assume that there will be rejection. Not knowing is the key to trust and enjoy life.

Ask why

It is so simple that I am surprised that people do not do it anymore. Who has rejected you (either a client who did not want to buy, a friend or the person you like) ask politely if you can explain in two minutes the reason for rejection. But do not try to please him/her again. You will find that many times why you have rejected has nothing to do with you.

Use positive affirmations

As you saw in the previous point, often in life you get what you expect. And this is especially true in social relations. It turns out that when we meet someone new, if we expect to like tem (for whatever reason), they tend to like us more. In a Canadian study it showed that using positive affirmations founded as "my friend think I'm an important part in his life," gave more confidence to people when addressing a social relationship, which in turn resulted in that liked plus.

Expose yourself gradually

If you fear social rejection as normal is you're trying to avoid such situations. However, to overcome your fear is crucial to do the opposite and expose yourself. For this to work it must be progressive. Start with situations that cause little anxiety and as you get used to look up the level. In addition to exposing gradually it is important that you detect when the thoughts begin to provoke fear of rejection. Rationalize the consequences that you're imagining. What is the real risk is in getting to speak to a group of people? Remember not to confuse imaginary fears with real fears.

Live without fear

If you give too much power to the opinion of others you will become their prisoner. So never let someone's opinion alter your reality. Never sacrifice who you are or who you want to be because someone might have a problem with that. Love yourself as you are outside and inside and fight. No one can make you feel bad unless you give yourself that power.

Fear of rejection is closely related to fear of failure. If you are inwardly convinced that you are not good enough, you're not up to the man or woman of your dreams or do not deserve to love and be loved. Overcoming this fear is important because with it your partner will never be able to get close enough to thoroughly know you (because you think that if you know your underbelly could reject).

Final advice

Remember that rejection hurts everyone, and we all face rejection in times of our lives. What happens is that people act in spite of fear. If we were continually avoiding, then you will not be able to overcome fear of rejection. You would be losing all the joy, fun and happiness that the other people can provide.

To begin and get rid of fear of rejection, you must first learn to accept it. It is a latent fear that is activated in certain situations which we should accept it. Learn how it makes us feel, rather than run from the situation.
It is give ourselves permission to experience how it feels to be rejected, and thus stop being afraid of that feeling and recognize that it is very unpleasant and we do not want to experience it. We learn that, indeed it is not pleasant to get rejected, but we understand that it happens and the world is not over. With that attitude you will slowly kill fear of rejection inside you and become more confident while approaching your crush or just people around you.

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