How To Start Over After Divorce

August 9, 2016

Find the best way to start over after divorce and move forward in life. These tips will help you find yourself, be stronger and happier in life once again.

start over after divorce

Getting divorce is not some easy thing you know, sure if you were in a messy relationship then it is a relief. However, then too it leaves its own type of scars on you. But the most heart breaking thing about getting divorced is the loneliness and the lack of that significant other whether the relationship was fulfilling or not. When you get married to someone, you have an immediate partner for everything. We do like a partner in everything like it can be as simple as having meal, or just sleeping or going to a party or something adventurous like traveling or for everyday things like watching television.

You two start depending on each other for small things which are not taken into account when ending a marriage. Other things which needs a partner is like when you are angry and you want to rant and there is your partner taking your side no matter you are right or wrong. But all of a sudden there is this awkward silence in your life and the chair where that person use to sit and eat or watch television is empty.

When you wake up in the morning the bed is made proper on one side and messy on the other and you start feeling lonely because now you don’t have a partner and that makes you sad. Don't worry, I will provide you with the best tips to start over after divorce and make life happy once again.

Don’t Worry Be Happy

Even if you feel lonely right now and this sudden absence you shouldn’t worry because within this absence you will learn a lot about yourself. You will find out how you are as an individual and what you want from your significant other. More over you will learn about what you need to be really happy. Sure you are going to make mistake and get your heart broken, but when all that is happening you will leans to deal with it. You will find yourself stronger and independent and now when you find someone it would be because you want to and not because you need to. So to start over after divorce, just relax have fun and don’t worry just be happy.

Have Fun

Have fun, you have spent years in a long lasting relationship and it wasn’t certainly easy as you are divorced now. You may have some good moments in your marriage and I understand that it wasn’t all that bad but now you are free. You don’t have to worry about what your significant other thinks about it, so just have fun and spend time doing what you wanted to do your life. Now there is no dinner to be made for anybody, no laundry, no dishes, no nothing, now it’s just you and what you want.

You have done a lot of things for a lot of people, but now it’s your time and now it’s all about what you want, what you desire and how you want to feel. And yeah, I understand that it is important to fulfill your most primal needs without the pressure or the burden of a relationship. As you are in the healing phase and trying to learn what it means to be single and it is also the best time to understand what you need in your partner romantically, intimately and otherwise.

Explore and Learn

Know the difference between love and lust. It’s not wrong to have sex just because you want to. You are not being whore or being irresponsibility as long as you take precaution that it. You are just trying to learn what you desire in bed and trying new things.

This is the time to explore, make new friends who will not judge you and getting comfortable in your own skin. Learn about yourself, sexually or otherwise like what turns you on and what kills the mood and do what you always wanted to be but didn’t. Be fearless and explore your everything, try flirting and talking to strangers at a bar. Be comfortable with what you are and own it and when you fall in love with yourself the people around you will start loving you too.

Go Celibate

You tried long term relationship and now you have tried taking it casual and now it’s time to be alone for a while. It’s just to say like you have always been within your boundaries and now that you have pushed it quite sometimes so now it’s time to restraint yourself.

Yeah, I understand what I am asking you to do but trust me it is best for now. You have gone and pushed your limits and learned a lot about you and now it’s time to be alone and focus on you and see how this experience has changed you emotionally and otherwise. All this time during your celibacy don’t lose touch with you horny side, remember you have pushed the boundary of intimacy and now it’s time to own and control it. You see you have to feel so good that you would consider being single forever but never want to become a celibate.

Go Backpacking

If you are a divorcee and have a kid or are a working then take a day or two off hire a sitter and just go on a solo trip. It doesn’t necessarily have to be somewhere in an exotic city or something you can simply go to some resort or a hotel. Dink a nice bottle of wine in your robe on a balcony with a view or just lie on a beach for a nice sunset and just lay there nothing to worry about. Read some good books, go to restaurants and explore your taste buds which you never got the chance to do.

Cut all ties with the real world and just enjoy and nice romantic evening with yourself and your surroundings. What I mean to say is just go out and have a nice, calm evening and let the people around entertain you and you will start to notice things which you never noticed before.

When you are in a relationship you try to focus on your significant other and how they feel, but now you are alone and you can be happy and feel and notice and do things that you want to do. And this can only be done in loneliness and not in a relationship and people who are in a relationship and confused can do this step too. You see when you are alone and getting by you will learn a lot from the people around you.

Take up a Hobby

Learn something new or pick up something that you always wanted to do but never got around to it. Just pick up a camera and take picture of you feel like it, or just open a book and start writing. You never know where your true passion lies and this also gives a happy start over after divorce by staying away from depressive thoughts. And now that you are free and alone you can explore it and maybe what makes you happy may also bring you close to someone you might like to go out with. Finding your true passion is like finding love and it’s even better because your passion only gets deepen with every heart breaking thing and it will never divorce you.

Make Friends

For people who were married for long period of time like close to a decade then the friend’s with opposite sex (true friend’s) are mostly the ones you met before marriage. The people who were friends with you and your ex have some different perspective on your life. As of now some are happy for you, while some just disappeared on you and that’s okay because the world is too big to not have any friends. Just make new friends who have different views of life then you and just enjoy their company because as long as you are having fun it doesn’t matter.

But don’t get into bad habits with your friends like drugs or drinking because that doesn’t do any good to any of you. Divorce is tough and people take sides so some people who were mad at you at the time might come around after a while and it depends on you whether you want to be friends or not. In the end, the one who stuck up for you when you needed them most are your real friends. This doesn’t mean that the friends that told you something on your face are not because true friends can’t help but feel for you and they don’t want to go through the pain of divorce so they say stuff but in the essence they are too there for you in the end.

Give Relationship a Chance

Now that you have explored yourself and pushed the boundaries, I think it’s time to give relationship a chance. A new relationship is a perfect way to start over after divorce, but don't rush into it. Just go out on a date, try the dating pool and give it a try. Sometime we think that we know what we want and so when the right thing comes along we ignore it because it doesn’t fit the list. In the end they are the person who can make you the most happy.

Yeah he/she is not that great looking, but makes you feel good and happy. If you feel you can work it out then just give it a try and you might be surprised on how good it makes you feel. Just saying, not all good things come neatly packed some are just wrapped really bad and you need to unwrap to know what’s inside and maybe you will find true happiness.

Talk to Someone

Talk to someone who is neither friend nor family and who has a degree hanging on their office wall. You see we all have some unresolved issues which need to be taken care of before we get in to deep. And it is always better to have a fresh perspective of an experienced person on your life. It doesn’t have to be a regular thing but if you feel the need keep the option open and don’t let your pride get in the way.

Lastly, I would just like remind you that to start over after divorce you need to enjoy this time while it last because not many people get a second chance to find their true love. You made a mistakes so what life is full of mistakes and lesson learned, but the good thing is you did not let it defeat you and you got back up and are now ready to get back out there. Just enjoy, explore and push you boundaries and find the one who is interested in doing the same.

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