Whether you are in a relationship or not, these points will clear everything you wanted to know about cheating and why do people cheat in relationship.
Many of us have gone through this. If you are reading this, you probably know the bitter aftertaste of being cheated on. Quite a grievous feeling, isn’t it? I can hardly imagine a person that would like to become a victim of such betrayal.
People have been (and will be, for sure) discussing it, arguing about it, devoting entire novels to it etc. Pop-culture pays much attention to the concept of cheating. Probably, too much attention. I may even say that the hype about this social phenomenon is exaggerated. However, this buzz has understandable reasons. Cheating is indeed the worst betrayal of all. You might admit that cheating has various forms aside from the sexual infidelity, and I agree with that. We will discuss that a bit later.
With the help of my gorgeous friends from Meet Russian Wife dating site, I tried to answer the most interesting questions related to the concept of cheating. You may find it useful or not. But I will be happy if this article will help at least one of you.
For the beginning, I would like to discuss the main reasons that why do people cheat in relationship. Some of them will sound quite adequate; others might look more like excuses for the lack of discipline and respect in your partner. Either way, all of them are equally represented in the contemporary society.
I will never believe that normal (healthy) love relationships may exist without sex (special cases are not taken into account). Therefore, sex is an integral part of human relationships. Sometimes people find themselves sexually frustrated, even though their partnership is a perfection from literally every side. The thing is – we cannot control our organisms for 100%. Now and then, sexual desire decreases and every intercourse becomes a torture.
Alternatively, you might not “click” in bed. I know many couples that were terrifically happy in everything except for sexual life. A family psychotherapist can help, for sure. Nonetheless, people would rather go and fulfill their necessity to have sex on the side. It demonstrates their a) lack of respect; b) fear of therapy. Any of these cases are tragic. You can overcome sexual frustration if you work together.
Unfortunately, I am not that keen on psychoanalysis. But I know people and it will, without doubts, help me to explain this issue. Even the most beautiful relationships may eventually become a burden. It often happens after the big changes occur. For example, moving in together can be a huge test for your feelings. Having a child is another kind of stress for your relationship.
In social media and on the Internet, we only see smiling people holding cute kids and indeed having the time of their life. The reality yet looks rather different – women sometimes have troubles with sexual arousal, men experience relentless depressions related to becoming fathers, and much more. These happening may lead to emotional detachment, which, in its turn, causes sexual infidelity. People don’t really like to fight for their happiness. Destroying is much simpler than building, you know.
Have you seen the 1955 movie with Marilyn Monroe and Tom Ewell? I am totally in love with it! But that’s not the point. This film has popularized the scientific idea of the seventh-year itch – some kind of a line that changes married couple’s life – worsens, to be precise. It sounds sketchy and anti-scientific, I know. But it turned out that it actually works.
The majority of couples experience a drastic decline of their marriage after the sixth year of their marriage. Moreover, divorce rates depict an increasing number of couples that divorce around the seventh year of marriage. In addition, most betrayals happen at the same time. I am assured that science has something to do with human relationships but, on average, the numbers make much less sense than respect and love in partnerships.
This is a rather particular case. However, I decided to include it because it happens too often. If the seventh-year itch is more of a mannish thing, the vengeance in a form of cheating is frequently conducted by women. It is their reaction to men’s sexual infidelity or, how they call it, “emotional cheating”.
I cannot explain what kind of aims such individuals pursue. But what I know for sure is that relationships are unreal after the mutual cheating appears. It makes no sense at all. If you aware of the betrayals of your partner (no matter how close you are), there’s no sense in doing the same thing to punish him or her. You should better break up and never meet again.
I have once heard this strange phrase from my girlfriend and, at first, I could not understand what she was talking about. She explained that emotional cheating is something alike mental betrayal – literally and figuratively. Later on, she depicted some particular cases of emotional cheating. For instance, she told me about a friend of hers that started communicating a lot with his ex-girlfriend while being in a new relationship.
Girls find such contacts inexcusably offensive. Then she told me about how guys start hiding something from their girlfriends. In most cases, it has nothing to do with sexual infidelity. Nonetheless, such secrets make them feel betrayed. Now I understand the concept of emotional cheating. And however sexist it might sound, but I’m afraid it makes more sense for women. Just saying.
There’s another thing I would like to admit. Those who believe in polygamous relationships should discuss their beliefs in advance. You see, men sometimes use polygamy as a perfect excuse for their cheating. And I, as a straight man, find it unbelievably rude. I don’t mind anyone having so-called “open relationships”. However, it should be decided beforehand. Otherwise, it will be yet another pitiful attempt to justify your own lust and immorality.
I have only one recommendation – don’t cheat on your significant others. I believe in love and trust. So do not force me to change my mind!