Find the best way to breakup with someone you once loved without hurting his/her feelings. For long distance you can use texts, but if you live with the guy/girl then better use these tricks.
When you first started dating you never expected that one day this would happen. We all know that there is a possibility that things between two of you might not work out. But as we say love is blind and now you are just not feeling love anymore. So, the thing is that you want to break up and even though you don’t love this person anymore you still care about him/her enough to not make them feel miserable.
Don’t take too much pressure thinking he/she would feel bad. If you don’t love then it is better for both of you to move on. This happens with everyone but now the important thing is to know how to break up with someone properly. And for this here are some things that you need to know before breaking up with someone.
When you are thinking about breaking up with someone you need to be prepared as much as you can to deal with the after math. Like every other thing in life there need to be some reasons about why you are breaking up. Plus you need a trusted person who you can rely on. There can be some other situations as well when you two are living together or when there are kids involved. Just keep in mind that you don’t hate this person, you are just not in love him/her anymore. In anyways here are some things that you need to be prepared for.
Never break up with someone you love out of spite or some argument. Make sure that you really want this and you will be okay if all hope is lost for the two of you to end up together. If you just want to pretend break up so the guy/girl would give you some attention then this is not the way. Once you do this there is no coming back from it. So, just make sure that you absolutely want to break up and will be fine without the possibility of getting back with this person.
Don’t Avoid It:
Sometimes we avoid breaking up because we are too scared for our self or for the other person involved. But you must think for one second that if you are not happy in this relationship then that’s not a way to live your life. This way you will not only be unhappy, but you will also have unhappy relationship which will make him/her unhappy as well.
So, don’t avoid breaking up with some one out of fear of being single again. Do not avoid breaking up because you are too scared to hurt someone’s feeling. And lastly never ever suggest taking a break as this is just a way of breaking up, but rather a long and tedious one. I think it’s better to just rip off the band aid and get on with our life.
Be Prepared for After Effects:
It’s obvious that after breaking up you both are going to have to make some changes in life which have become quite natural for you both. Like if you two lived together then one of you have to move out. If it’s your house then you should give him/her some time to clear out. I would suggest staying at a friend’s or relative’s house for the week till he/she clears out. And if you two have kids together then you are going to have to think about all the necessary arrangement that comes with it like meeting schedules and living arrangements and more. But either way you need to think about these things in advance to avoid arguments later.
Tips to Breakup
The point here is to talk about how the actual break up is suppose to take place and what are the do’s and don’ts for that. There needs to be certain steps taken to make it comfortable and less awkward for both the parties involved. So, here is a well laid step by step plan to breakup with someone and make it go as smoothly as possible.
Hint about a Serious Conversation:
It’s always better if the other person sees it coming because then they are somewhat prepared for it. Hinting by saying something like “We need to talk” in a serious tone lets them know that there is a serious conversation in their near future. This way they are ready to discuss about something serious and that’s when you breakup with them. Never text or call for breaking up the releationship. Remember break up needs to be done face to face because this is the least they deserve from you as you once loved the guy/girl.
Time and Place:
I think we both know that there’s never going to be a perfect time to breakup with someone, but there are always a good time and that’s what you need to look for. Suppose if your partner is going through some personal crisis like a death in a family or a sudden diagnosis of diseases or even something like loss of a job. Then these are not the time to breakup, but give him/her some time so you don’t add more pain to their misery. And never ever end a relationship while having some tedious argument because that’s just dumb and hurtful.
As for place try planning it ahead like you would any date but without the romantic settings. It can be in a public place, but try finding a quiet corner to have some privacy. Keep in mind that one or both of you may get emotional after this kind of talk. And just remember never to breakup on text or email unless it’s a long distance relationship where you both can’t meet face to face and in those situations too I would suggest video chat.
Choose your words wisely:
When talking about something this serious it is important to choose your words carefully to avoid getting across as mean or sending mixed signals. Using statements like “It’s not you, it’s me” doesn’t really work because the other person ends up thinking that they are not good enough. You must start by saying something positive to calm down the initial tension about the serious conversation while still hinting about it.
Try saying something like “I really like you and I am glad that we have gotten to know each other.” Then you have to go for the reason you are breaking up like “I don’t think I am ready for a serious commitment right now” or more subtle thing like “You slept with my best friend” And then you actually have to use the word “That’s why I want to break up with you.”
Now that you have said it get ready for what’s to follow. Remember, you have to stay calm for this part. Know that when you breakup with someone things are going to get heated up and people say things that can hurt. You need to stay calm and stick to your guns about breaking up.
Don’t be mean, but be honest:
When you breakup with someone it’s obvious that your partner is going to have some questions and some hurt feelings as well. This is where you have to be patient and listen even though they are being mean. The only exception to this is when you are scared that they are going to physically hurt you or something similar.
If that’s the case then do this with backup ready, like have a few of your trusted friends around the corner keeping a close eye on you. But in any other instant you need to honestly answer the question without coming off as harsh or mean. Don’t blame it on your partner entirely, this will just leave them angry or really sad with bruised ego.
Doing this can be tough at times, but you can get through it if you just keep in mind that you loved this person if only for a brief moment. And when you think that all is said and done then you should just get up say your goodbyes and leave.
After Math of Breaking Up
Since you have just gotten out of a long or short relationship, there are going to be some repercussions of it which you need to be prepared for. Just to get you through a clean breakup without messing it up, here are some post break up things you need to take care of.
Avoid Contact Initially:
Even though this seems harsh but trust me this is the best way to have a clean breakup. You need to avoid all contact with your partner at least for a few weeks initially. This includes calling and talking at all times, social media chats and meeting face to face is out of the question as well. This way you avoid yourself and your partner from more unnecessary pain. If you are tempted then you need to take precautions like blocking their number in your cell phone and social media accounts as well.
Once you are through the breakup, there are certainly going to be some mixed feeling especially after the conversation you had. Don’t feel guilty for what they said and for the break up because it is the best thing for both of you in the long run. Two happy singles are much better than an unhappy couple, remember that. And no matter what happens do not make contact.
Take your time:
Post breakup is the time where you can work on yourself. During this time you can do anything you like and no one is going to say you a thing. Even if you start something crazy like taking some weird classes that you think is interesting. This is no blame time because it’s going to be blamed on the break up. It’s one of the perks of breaking up, I know a bit weird but true.
Rely on close relations:
This is also the time of you being confused and emotional. So, rely on close friends and relatives during this time. Talk to them all you want and just depend on them. People close to you will probably empathize with you and offer advice and support. Just take some time to gather yourself with the help of these friends and relative and when you are ready try being single and happy again.
Sometime breaking up is the only way to find happiness again. After all that matter in life is if you are happy. Just remember breaking up with someone is not necessarily a bad thing as it is presenting you and your partner an opportunity to find someone who really makes you happy. Even though it may seem a bit unfair but then you can be fair and honest with your partner. Lastly, every relationship teaches us something about ourselves so learn something as it might help you in your future relationships.
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