How to Flirt With a Girl Over Text

June 15, 2015
Flirting is a very important piece for attraction and hence learn the best ways to flirt with a girl over text without being obvious. These tips will help you attract any girl. In today’s world of technology wooing a girl is not as easy as it used to be, because you don’t just spend time with her when you meet her but also when she is not around because of social networking sites and cell phones. I mean, today you spend more time texting a girl than talking to one. Text flirting is an art form that every man should know in order to get the girl. So here are some texting tips that will help you to have a nice conversation with a girl. Hence to help all those men who don't know this art, read the tips to learn how to flirt with a girl over text. how to flirt with girls The three most important part of text flirting is the opening, the flirting and the ending.

Step 1:- The Opening

The opening of a text flirting messages is like when you meet up with your friends or colleagues every day. You don’t say “Hey”, “Hi” or “How you doing?” to them, these kind of messages is for strangers, and the person you are trying to flirt with is not a stranger, she is someone you know and have talked with at least a couple of times. So don’t be boring or obvious, just be funny, personal or appealable. When trying to get her attention, you need to consider that most guys are similar, and a hot girl like the one you met likely has many other men pursuing her, wooing her, and sending her text all the time. So, you need to set yourself apart from these guys, and for that, you need to be authentic. Most likely, you won’t be the only one texting her and wants to attract her. So you need to set yourself apart from those other guys. Play it safe: Your first depends on how your interaction with her the moment before you both exchanged numbers. The best way to start a conversation is to refer to something from the conversation you had with her face to face. But if you don’t know anything about her other than she is cute, then it is better to play it safe, don’t overthink it; keep it simple. Start with a simple, friendly line that would feel good to read. Make sure that your texts leave something for her to reply to, and when she does, then you’ll know if she is free to chat or not. Text something like, “Hey, What are you up to, young lady?” Use Personal Details: One thing that can be used as a great conversation starter is knowing something personal about her. For example, it will help you to distinguish yourself from those other guys who are texting her. Or rather, ask her a question about something that you both talked about earlier. And when she answers, then you can continue the conversation and later on change the topic if you need.


The worst way to start a text is to ask a question which is easily answerable and really boring like “How are you doing?” I mean, if you get a text like this, would you feel like replying? Honestly, whenever I get a text like this, I reply “Okay.” That’s it, even though I might not be doing well or might be very happy but for a text like this the reply is always “Okay” or “Fine”, and good luck finding your way back to flirting from that. Texting is suppose to be fun for both of you and since you are the one that’s starting the conversation, it’s your responsibility to make it funny. So start with something that is funny and will make her response to your text immediately, like “You might be the most beautiful girl in the room but I am not that bad either.” These types of first text are definitely getting a response and believe me you have just made a girl blush a little by calling her beautiful.


Since you guys already know each other there must be something you have in common or some time that you have spent together. So use that as a conversation starter like “Just saw ____ movie and remembered how much fun we had watching it together” or “Just ate _____ and thought of you” or “Just saw a red dress and remembered how beautiful you looked in the red dress you wore that day.” Using the time you spent together as a conversation starter is best way to let the girl know that you are thinking about her and that you remember of the time spent together, which are both good as a start for a flirty texting.

Be Appealing:

Just as a real conversation, texting is also a two-way street. So in order to get a reply to your first text you have to make sure that your first text is good and for that it’s better to have a question in the opening text. Now just because I said that there is suppose to be a question in the text doesn’t means that it has to be the same old boring question like “How you doing?” or anything like that. It has to be something that she feels compelled to text you back like “Excuse me, but you dropped something back when we left" (What?) "This conversation lets pick it up where we left off.” And then you go on from there into a nice flirty texting with a smile on her and your face as well. After the initial two text, if you don’t get any replies then don’t send any more texts because she might be busy or away from her cell phone and can’t reply but for when she sees that there are one or two texts from you she might reply but if there are a lot of texts then it seems like you are desperate which is never a good sign. But once the couple of texts are exchanged then starts the next step which is flirting.

Step 2 - The Flirting

There are a lot of topics, a man and a woman discuss over text but if you are talking to your crush than always remember that even if the topic itself is not of flirty nature than too the underline psychological flirting is still at work. Flirting is like a game, you have to give a little to get a little. Every flirting conversation includes three things mystery, teasing and suggestion. If you want to have a successful text flirting than involve these things in your conversation and it will make your texting flirting interesting and long lasting. When the long handwritten romantic love letter is over, this is the era of texting, and you need to snap out of that era even though it seems unrealistic, but in today’s world, no one has the time to read that long letter. So instead, you need to write something that will catch her attention immediately but nothing too long or desperate type. Keep your messages brief; what kind of girl would you like to go for the guy who fills her entire inbox before she even gets a chance to look at the first message. Talk about a high-level creep or sociopath. Your messages need to make her curious but shouldn’t overwhelm her. Try to keep your text short and keep the conversation going. Your goal here is to get her to focus on you when she is texting. And to achieve that goal, you need to keep the conversation open with a straight back and forth flow. Long texts are boring especially when you have to wait for the other person to respond. And finally, if you two have been chatting for a while now, you don’t need to look for reasons to chat with her again, and neither do you need to introduce yourself. It would help if you tried to mirror her, I mean, text exactly the way she texts. For example, if she sends you 2-3 word text, you may reply in the same manner and don’t go for the long text. And lastly, don’t make any spelling or grammatical mistakes when texting.


Mystery is to leave something for imagination. Little bit of mystery is always a good thing for flirting with a girl over text, because it makes her ask more and more questions, which make it seems like she is after you and not the other way around. So try being a little bit vague or ambiguous at times in your text messages but don’t overdo it or she might get suspicious. Like if she asks you a question which might have a very common or simple reply then try to be vague here. For example, if she asks you “How was your day?” then don’t answer “It was okay.” Or something like that because it just makes it boring and difficult to continue from there, so make it a little interesting like “It was pretty strange actually. People never stop surprising me.” Text like these most probably gets her attention and she might ask you more about your day which is good.


Little teasing is a healthy sign of flirting. Light teasing is always good to flirt with a girl as it creates a kind of intimacy between the two of you without getting too serious. But teasing should not be offensive or mean it is suppose to create a secret bridge between you two, you know kind of like an inside joke or memory. And if you are getting teased back don’t be angry because it just means that she is comfortable being teased by you, which is a good sign for flirting. Another way teasing can be helpful is, if you call her with some cute nicknames which only you two share. This way if she accepts it and flirting continues you have a real shot with her, which is your ultimate goal.


No good text flirting is ever finished without some naughty suggestions. After both of you are in comfortable zone and have been flirting with each other back and forth then comes the time for some naughty suggestion. For an example, “Liked watching you in that dress but I would love watching you without it.” Naughty suggestion like these makes it funny and interesting. But if you are uncomfortable going down sexual route then you must send some text which helps you make decision whether she is comfortable with it or not, like the classic “I am going to take a shower after this” and if she replies with some double meaning text or some sexual pun than you know that she is comfortable with it too. Before starting with direct naughty suggestions you can try some naughty text or double meaning text to get her in that comfort zone and then go on from there in naughty suggestions.

Important tips to flirt with a girl over text:

  1. Your messages should be short and sweet. Not a lengthy one which takes a lot of time to read and is a mood killer.
  2. There should be equal number of messages from both sides. Remember “You have to give a little to get a little and vice versa.”
  3. Don’t make any spelling or grammatical mistakes because it just means that you are not that interested. So check your messages before sending.
  4. Remember your real goal because having a friendly text conversation will get you nowhere but back to texting again. So your ultimate goal is to seduce a girl over text and then ask her out on a date. Always remember five minutes in real life is more valuable than thousands of text messages. So, my advice would be to arrange a meet-up with her as soon as possible and avoid wasting time on girls who only want to text rather than have a real relationship.
  5. Compel her to respond: Remember, whenever you send her messages, it should contain something that may compel her to respond. I mean, give her some room to respond by asking for her opinion or asking a question to keep the conversation going. For example: “P.S. Do you know that bakery name at the corner of 7th and Lexington Street?” You see, now there is room for her to respond and perhaps ask a question of her own.

Step 3 - Make her laugh

I have read somewhere that “If you can make her laugh, you can make her love you.” And so far in my life, I say it’s not far from the truth. Women notice a sense of humor in men as one of the most important qualities a man can possess. So you can use some flirting and spirit to make her laugh and seduce a girl over text. Tease her: All the ladies in the world like to be teased but just a little, not like hazing. Keep the teasing texts going between you two, as it tends to make your conversation more intimate and personal. Remember, when you are starting, try using funny text to make her laugh,h and then try getting into bantering and from there on to flirting. Start Flirting: Ladies adore a man who is not afraid of being naughty and playful a little bit. Of course, you should never cross the line, but a little light flirting is good for conversation. So, it would help if you flirted when the opportunity arose. An excellent way to initiate a naughty conversation and seduce a girl is to tell her that you just got out of the shower or by telling her that you are going for a swim earlier this morning or that you are trying on some new clothes. Try to come across sexual topics but carefully and with some humor; otherwise, she may interpret these messages as a way to ask her out. Notice when she gets playful with you and uses that to your advantage. And don’t flirt in every text; this will make it boring. Read our guide on how to make a girl blush. Personalize Your Text: You need to personalize your text to show her how you feel. The use of emoticons can achieve this. But don’t overuse it because if you use emoticons in every message, it may appear silly and eventually lose its true purpose. You can also use some exclamatory phrases of texting languages like “LOL,” etc. These things work but only when used appropriately.

Step 4 - Timing is everything

Now when I have already explained to you how to text and flirt with her, the most important problem remains. Which is when to text her? What is the right time to text her? For this, you need to see how much time she takes to reply to your text and at what time? I don’t particularly appreciate playing games, but if you want to seduce a girl successfully, you need to get a little bit creative. Notice how much time it took for her to reply and take exactly that much time with addition or subtraction fifteen minutes and then reply here. So, if she responds to your text after an hour at 4 PM, then you must reply at 4:45 or 5:15 PM and see where it goes from there. Don’t fill her inbox: Never send more than one text at a time, at most two. Because if you send like 15-16 messages without getting a single reply from her, that is just creepy. And if you want this girl to chase you instead, then you must never over text her. So instead, try keeping your text and her response at a 1:1 ratio, and try texting her as frequently as she texts you. Pick the right time: Try avoiding calling or text when you know she will be busy, like when she is at work. But, on the other hand, she should feel excited when she read your text, which can be achieved when you make her wait a little bit. Text during the evening: In my experience, evenings are the best time to text a girl. But if the girl you like is more comfortable with you texting her at some other time, that is perfect because she felt comfortable enough to request from you. But if not, then start by texting her late in the evening and continue the conversation till she goes to bed. There is something about a quiet night that always works in our favor. Wait for her reply: Never send a double text message to a girl; wait until she replies to your first message. Remember, you have to show her that you want her, but you are not desperate for her. If you send a girl 2-3 messages without getting her reply, you will be written off as a desperate person. It would be best if you created gravity for yourself. Think of this process a bit like a business trying to sell something. If a company you aren't interested in cold calls you, what are the chances you will want to purchase from them? Minimal, however, if a company has a strong brand and entices you, such as a brand like Apple, or a car manufacturer like Mercedes, they have created a gravity that attracts customers to be drawn towards them. Once you have understood all these steps correctly, you are ready to seduce the girl you like. But remember, you will make mistakes but never let them stop you from going after the other girls.

Step 5:- The Ending

Like all conversation has some agenda, some goal that you want to reach at the end, text flirting must also have a goal. Once you have reached that goal you should end this text flirting session. Because if you let the flirting continue then after a few more messages you will run out of things to talk about at which point this conversation will become a bore for both of you and you will lose your shot at your goal. So you must end the session before it comes to that. For ending, one must always have some go to text like “Gotta go babe, talk to you tomorrow, till then keep thinking about Me.” or something that helps you to leave on a good note. If you want to learn the complete step by step and working plan then my advise to you is to read The Ultimate Attraction Game. This is an ebook created by experts which has been mentioned by many dating gurus and the best book for learning to flirt with girls over text. Always remember these three main steps to flirt with a girl over text, first you have to start with being appealable, then you have to continue with the flirting by using inside joke and cute nick names to build a personal connection. Once that is established you can go with naughty suggestions and after she is comfortable being naughty you have to take a shot at your goal and then end the texting on a good note so you can pick it up again later. For a healthy relationship or to start a relationship one must have two to three of this text flirting sessions everyday and each session must be of 15 minutes or so. So it doesn’t become a drag and keeps her thinking about you. And remember the best time for to flirt with a girl over text is morning after both of you are awake, night before both of you go to sleep, and third can be anytime in between when you both are free because it makes her think about you from morning to night and that is something that every guy wants for his girl to think about him all the time. Click Here to read The Ultimate Attraction Game

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