How to Get Your Ex to Talk to You

June 6, 2021

Find the best way to get your ex to talk to you first in person or over text. These tips will help to make your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend contact you and want you back. If you want to go even further, read our tips on how to make your ex beg for you back.

The most challenging thing after a breakup is getting your ex to talk to you. The truth is people are so confused about what to do after a breakup that they end up doing messing it up a bit more. This happens because, on the one hand, you want them to talk to you, and on the other hand, you want to yell at them and say, “Stop ignoring me.” This is where the problem lies. However, you don’t know the right thing to do or the right way to get your ex to talk to you again. That’s why we are here, as we have a step-by-step solution for you. So, if you want your ex to stop ignoring you and start talking to you, then take a look below.

Why is your ex ignoring you?

I am assuming that you know your ex is ignoring you because you have tried to contact them in one way or the other. So, why do you think your ex is ignoring you? What have you done besides the apparent break-up part? These are the questions that need to be answered, so you don’t end up making the same mistake twice. Don’t worry. Whatever you did is fixable, but it was not perfect. Before applying the technique to get your ex to talk to you over text or in person, you need to their feelings. It’s important to know this detail, and for that, here is the list of common reasons why your ex may be ignoring you.

It got Annoying

This reason is more common than you think, and sometimes it seems like begging or just plain old annoying. For example, message after message from your ex about needing to talk to you, or even worse, call after call. Suppose you are to contact your ex immediately after the breakup tends to get annoying. This is because you broke up with them to get rid of them, but now they don’t seem to get the message. Let me simplify it for you; first, someone begging is not attractive, and second, you should stop acting super needy. Finally, it would help if you made her realize that breaking up was a mistake, and then your ex might start talking to you. So, give it some time.

Hurt Feelings

This is a fair reason; they may have hurt feelings from something you did, and they choose to ignore you. This is not just post-break-up, but it may also involve what you did or said during your relationship. It’s something you did that pissed them off, and now they are ignoring you to teach you a lesson. It’s a relatively typical human way to get back at each other.

Remember the fights

Every relationship has its fight, and maybe the reason you guys broke up is one of them. The truth is no one ever really forgets about what is said during these fights, but we choose to ignore it because we love the other person. However, now that you two have broken up, all that surfaces, and maybe that’s the reason your ex won’t talk to you.

Gaining control

The real reason behind your ex ignoring you might be that they want to gain that much control over you. I know it seems a bit of a drag, but it also seems to be working because here you are looking at how to get your ex to talk to you, which, if nothing else, tells you about how much control they already gained over you.

Moved on

One of the hurtful reasons why your ex may be ignoring you is because they may have already moved on. So, if they have someone new in their life, it would probably make sense to miss you. The more they talk to you, the more the past drags them behind.

Trying to Move on

The best and the same reason your ex is ignoring you is that they may be trying to move on. The truth is starting anew is complicated as it is, so you don’t want any lingering effect on your ex-relationship. Hence the best way to move on is to cut all ties, including you too. I understand if this may seem a bit harsh, but the truth is you would do the same when trying to move on.

The Push-Pull Effect

The Push-Pull effect is an exciting concept and one that you can apply here as well. This push-pull effect states that there needs to be an equal amount of pushing and pulling for any relationship to be interesting. In terms of our current situation, I would you have been trying to draw way too hard without giving it any push. What this push-pull effect does is it creates an emotional tension between you two. This helps to keep relationships in check. However, now that you have broken up, this push-pull effect has gone terribly out of balance. So, let’s try fixing it and using it to our advantage, shall we?

No Contact Period

The best way to balance the push-pull equation right now is by using the No Contact Rule. This rule states that you are not to contact your ex in any form for at least 4-6 weeks, with three exceptions. The first of these exceptions is when you two have a child. Second is if you two live together, work together or are in school together and lastly in case of emergencies. Barring these three exceptions, you are not to contact your ex in any form. Even in these exceptions, you should only talk to them about the subject and nothing else. This no-contact period gives you enough time to work on yourself and makes your ex think about you. This, therefore, balances the push-pull equation.

Get Noticed by your Ex

Just think about it, if you did all this and no one noticed tall, then what? I think you would be super pissed, don’t you? So let’s see what we can do about that. The best way to get noticed is to go out with friends, have a party. This way, people know that you are doing fine, and this news is bound to reach your ex one way or the other. If this doesn’t work, then use social media to post pictures of you performing different activities.

However, if all else fails, then you may use her friends to get her to notice you. I mean, if you have been in a relationship with this girl for a while, then you are bound to have some familiar friends, so why not use them. Invite these friends to a party or hang out with them as this way the news of how changed you will reach your ex. But whatever you do, do not have an affair or one night stand with your ex-friend, not wholly ruin all your hard work.

Topics to talk with your ex

Once the no-contact period is over, it’s time to contact and get your ex to talk to you once again. However, you are not to do this like you did the last time. Instead, it would be best if you planned what this conversation would be like, and your goal is coming out of this conversation. So, let’s prepare a range of topics to talk about and not to talk about. This will make it easier once you can get your ex to talk to you. When people start talking to other people, they like to talk about their hobbies or what they want. What if the other person doesn’t like the same thing you do? That’s why you are making this list because you do know what your ex wants to talk about, so why not start from there.

The Tortoise Effect

The Tortoise effect says not to hurry as slow and steady wins the race. This, when put in context to our current situation, means not to go overboard with texting and to talk. Remember to take it steady, so start with one text a day, then take it to two a day. Now, gradually increase it till your ex is comfortable talking to you whenever and wherever. Also, start by texting to calling to hanging out, gradually increasing their comfort level with you again.

Go and talk to your ex

Enough talk; once you are past the no contact period, then it’s time to contact your ex. You may get a bit nervous, but remember you have worked on yourself, and it’s about time to go for it. Start by something like, “Saw _____ today, which reminded me of the day we did _____.” The dash is to be filled with a happy memory to increase the chance of response from your ex. Lastly, remember that you have done all that you can. So if it doesn’t work, then maybe it’s time for you to start thinking about moving on as well.

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