10 Steps to Forgive Your Ex Quickly

February 23, 2021

Find the best way to forgive your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend after a breakup. Whether they dumped you or cheated on you, these tips will help you move on in life. If you do not know where to start, read our guide on how to ask for forgiveness from your boyfriend.

forgive your ex

If forgiving them is what you need to move on, then what to do. You know, or you think that ignoring them is the right thing to do if not for them, then for you. If you don’t know how to do it, then you are at the right place. Let me warn you that it’s not an easy fix, and there is no shortcut for it. It is tough to accept that you have to forgive your ex for whatever they have done or said to you. It can be an intensive process, but it’s certainly better than holding onto a grudge that’s running your life. If you are willing to go ahead, then here is one way to go through it.

Be Calm and Patient

Suppose you are thinking of going on a rampant or picking a fight because you are angry at someone, then don’t. Now is not the time to go out and create problems where there isn’t one; instead, it might be better to calm down a bit. It’s not going to be easy, but try to be patient first and think clearly about what you are doing. Being patient is one of the most challenging things to do, as the breakup is so fresh right now, but it is what’s necessary for now. Right now is not the time to get drunk or do something worse but chill and relax because you just got out of a stressful relationship. This might be the first step to forgive your ex after a breakup.

Letting Go the Hard Feelings

It will help if you let go of the past and embrace the future. I know it’s not easy, but reminiscing on the past will not fix anything for you. It’s going to make you feel stuck, and you will be sooner or later. I am not saying to let go right now; it’s going to take some time. But if you are going to do it, then why not start now. It’s a process so let’s start with the things you control rather than things you can’t.

Sometime back, I heard a story of how a guy let go using his password “Forgive her.” He would have to type it in every time to unlock his mobile and computer as well. He used to get irritated in the first week typing it because it reminded him of what he had to go through but still didn’t change it because he wanted to get over it.

In the second week, he started thinking about what went wrong and what could’ve been, and by the third week, he was able to accept that he made some mistakes as well. But it wasn’t until the end of the fourth week that he didn’t feel anything wrong with his ex. Finally, he was able to have a pleasant conversation with her if called upon.

This is the perfect example of what could be done if you could just let go. The best part of this story is when the guy confesses how good it feels just to let go of the hard feelings. This negativity and grudge inside you would ruin his day and eventually destroy his life.

Think about it, wouldn’t it be good to feel good and laugh sooner rather than later. So, just let go, forgive your ex and be happy.

Focus on Positive Parts

This plays a very vital role in letting go, which eventually leads to forgiveness. Focusing on the positive parts would serve as a reminder when you start resenting the other person. Every relationship has good parts and bad parts. And yes, for a while, the bad far outweighed the goods, and you guys broke up. But now is the time for letting go, and for that, focusing on the best parts of your relationship will help. If you can’t think of something, then keep in mind that this is someone you loved and if you can’t do it for them, then do it for yourself and just let go.

Talk to Someone

This all can be a bit overwhelming process, so it’s always good to have someone to talk to if it gets too much for you. Talking to someone always helps as this allows you to let it all out. Keep in mind that this person is supposed to be someone you can trust explicitly and not someone who is just going to blab it all to your ex. This way, you have yourself a support system, and you don’t have to go through it again. You can also consult an expert for professional help. Please don’t be ashamed of it because you are trying to do nothing short of being noble.

Talk to your Ex

After a while, if you feel comfortable enough, you might want to talk to your ex about it. Remember, you are not trying to start a fight or even here to win an argument, just here to get some closure. So, just shut up and let them say their piece, and if you don’t like it, be patient. You have come so far now; why go and ruin it now. Just tell yourself that you are not doing this for them; you are doing it for yourself. This way, you will learn something by listening to their perspective, and you may also discover some new things about yourself.

Show Compassion

Showing some compassion is the most humane thing you can do. I understand that this person has hurt you, but you need to know that this person is hurting as well, even if they don’t show it as much. Trying to be as polite as you can be, and that would be enough. Think about it this way; you at least know that it wasn’t you who messed it up. They don’t even have that peace. If not for the show some compassion because you are a good person at heart, and you loved this person if only for a fleeting moment there.

With time your wounds will heal

Doing all these things will not be that easy, but it will get easier with time and practice. They say time heals all wounds, but that’s only partly true because you have to work on it, and with time it all gets easy enough. I am not saying that it won’t come up now and then, but it will fade away with time, but only if you are willing to forgive your ex and let go of grudges. If you keep holding on to that grudge, then nothing can make it easy, and time itself will serve you as a cruel reminder as it waits for no man.

Learn from Experience

Everything that happens to you in life teaches you something. So, learn from this experience and use it to make your next relationship work a bit better. Always keep in mind that each relationship tests our limits and lets us know we draw our boundaries. So, focus on how this relationship has helped you grow. If you find a perfect guy for you, you should be thankful to his ex-girlfriends because they help make him perfect. You see, he learned from the mistakes he made with each one of them, and now he is ideal for you.

Forgive Yourself

How are you going to forgive your ex if you are not even willing to forgive yourself first? Yeah, you made some mistakes in your relationship, but now you need to accept it and move on. There’s nothing really that you can do about it now. So why keep punishing yourself over it? Why not just forgive yourself and try to move on. Think about it; most people are tougher on themselves than they are on someone else. So keeping this entire in mind, I say just to let go and forget your relationship. This will help you in forgiving your ex and let you grow and have better relationships in the future.

Move On in Life

Once you have done all of the things mentioned above, you will realize that you are already ready to move on. Now all you need to do is acknowledge the fact that it happened and you dealt with it. This will show you that you can take a hit, preventing you from being afraid to make an impact in the future. Keep in mind that if you got scared at every turn of your new relationships, your life would become tough soon. You need to know that doing all this not only helped you to forgive your ex but also helped you to forgive yourself and, in turn, prepared you for what’s to come.

Now that you know all this, try being patient while going through it. And remember, once you are done with this, you will see yourself coming out more vital than ever.

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