How To Talk To a Girl Over Text

November 14, 2015

Find the best way to talk to a girl over text you like for the first time. Learn the everyday topic examples and flirting tips to impress a girl over text.


In today’s world, whether technology is a boon or a curse is one of the most significant debates going on; I don’t know what to say about it, but what I do know is that they are a guys and relationships boon. Cell phones, one of the wonders of technology and the best way to connect with people worldwide, also have a method called “texting,” which can be used primarily to get a little closure without first getting into a relationship. If you think so too and have someone, in particular, you would like to get close using the art of texting but don’t know “how to talk to a girl over text?” Or “How to start?” Or “What topics to talk about?” then you are in luck as this is the best place to know all about texting to a girl, from getting her number and texting her for the first time to asking her out on a date.

Exchange Information

Texting wouldn’t work unless you have the girl’s number so that you will need the number, and this can only be done by asking her for her number. Never get her number from her friends, or your friends try to get the number personally from her because if you get the number for someone, she might get a little put off as it gives off a desperate vibe from your side. So make an attempt and ask for her number and be casual about it.

Always be direct about it don’t play around; girls like a guy who is direct but remember not to be too blunt like “Give me your number, right now” Don’t order her; ask politely and casually, and nine times out of ten she will give you her number. The tenth time when she didn’t give you her number doesn’t necessarily mean she is not attracted to you; it can be in a relationship or any other number of reasons. And remember to ask her number personally and not over IM or any social networking website as it decreases the chances of rejection a lot more.

Initial Contact over text

Initial contact is the very first text that you are going to send that girl. This text doesn’t require much, just something as simple as “Hi, it’s George from school. How’s it going?” anything simple which introduces you by your name and compels her to text you back. Sometimes a funny thing that you both talked about previously can also be used like, “Hey, it’s Jerry from last night. So did you happen to cause any more destruction after I left?” Now, you can only send this after you two have met and made a proper connection as she gave you her number, and that tells that she is interested in hearing from you, so you must maintain that same interest with the texting. This step only tells you to introduce yourself to her and perhaps take the first step towards something more.

Topics to use over text

After the first couple of texts used to introduce you, you need some exciting topics to text about and have a friendly chat to keep her interested. This is the central part of texting, where you build a particular bond with the girl. The initial contact can only be used once in a lifetime because you don’t introduce yourself every time you start texting someone you know, whereas the conversation starters come in after the girl knows who you are and wants to chat with you. You need to know the suitable topics to talk to a girl over text to make her interested. Now, these conversation starters are used as a first text to get the girls to respond to you, and then if you need, you can change the topic entirely as she would only react if she thinks it’s worth it.

If you get the initial response and the conversation seems to be going slow, you may change the topic to something that will bring more replies. The best way to do that is to ask for her opinion about something; one thing girls love is to have an idea, so give her a chance to express herself and take it from there. Try to keep your conversations funny and make her laugh. Include some text like “lol” or even emoticons to give your reader some personality. You can also talk about some personal things like a project or your interest, the item you like to do when you are free, and she’ll start opening up to you as well. Of course, you must read what she has to say, or you may come off as selfish.

Flirt with her over text

Once you have had some great conversations, you can start with mild flirting and see if she returns the favor, and if she does, you can go for full-on flirting, which is a great strategy to talk to a girl over text. And remember to avoid anyone word texting as this signals that you are bored, which is not a big turn-on if you know what I mean. The best way to get the girl to notice you is to use what she said to you when you guy spoke or when you got her number and use that as a conversation starter. And finally, try to have fun with the girl because if you are enjoying it, then so is she, and always be honest in your texting.

Look For Signals

While talking to a girl over text, look for signals they provide because they are not that easy to pick up on. So you have to be careful not to give the red alert and be more vigilant in getting the green signal. What I mean is look out for some signs that say if she is into you or not. Some examples of good and bag signs are listed here, but these are just some of the things that I have experienced so that you might learn from my mistakes.

  • The time it takes her to response is an important way of knowing how she feels for you. For an example if the responses are quick then she likes you, if they are in proper time intervals like 2 – 3 minutes then she might be playing hard to get or she is working on something but still is texting you back every chance she gets and if she is ignoring some of your text then she doesn’t like that topic and if she completely ignores you then she does not like you, yet! but never keep on texting if she never text you back.
  • The content of text also has a great importance as it says what she is thinking. Like say if she is sending you laughter or any other emoticons then it is a good signal similarly if her text is like “lol” or “haha” then that is good sign too. But if the response to your nicely thought out text is just “That’s nice” or “OK” or something like that is not a good sign then either change the topic or end the conversation for now. And if you are really confident about that your text was not hurtful then you can ask her if something is going with her.
  • Best signal and often the one that gets you the girl is when she initiates texting and also flirts back with you. You’ll know when you see the flirting and never ignore her text if you really care about her, you may take a while to reply but never ignore it, even if hours went by before you noticed the text then too reply saying that you missed the text because of some reason and always tell the truth.

End It Before You Are Ended

Remember, a conversation is only good if it ends perfectly, making both of you wanting more. So never drag on a conversation as it will get boring after a while, and she may end it. Hence remember to finish it before she ends it and always be the first to end the conversation because this way, you leave her wanting more, which makes her think about you all day long. Furthermore, experts recommend that a lengthy discussion usually reveals all the dating cards, making the game boring. Hence, keep your first few text conversations and dates to a limited time so that you can make her your girlfriend.

Text her often

After the first couple of conversations, make it a habit to text her gradually to see how she responds. Don’t text excessively and fill her inbox with your text only. A friendly lengthy text conversation twice a day will show her that you think about her once or twice in a day but not the entire day, which is a big turn-off for some girls. These conversations should occur when the possibility of her replying is maximum else, it would just be a one text exchange, and you wouldn’t get anything out of it. So notice when she is free, and her replies are faster because that is the time she is free and can have a conversation with you. Try sending “good morning” and “good night” texts to her but not the simple ones, perhaps with some quotes or something as this would make her think about you all day and all night.

Ask her out

Texting can only get you some closure, but the main goal is to ask the lady out on a date. So if you get an opportunity, like say you remember her text about how she likes some movie star and his new film is coming out, you should take a chance and ask her out. Don’t make a big fuss about it; keep it casual and ask her to go out with you. It doesn’t have to be grand, just a simple gesture of kindness to let her know you care.

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